When my wife and I are fighting one of my defense mechanisms is to shut down and not say anything.
She really hates that one.
It isn’t that I am thinking to myself “If I get really quiet its going to make her really mad.” Its just that a lot of times I stop talking because I am absorbing so much information that I honestly have nothing left to say or to give. I just start shutting down and internalizing everything.
I’m on the other end of that right now.
I feel like I am sitting here, waiting for God to act in my life and all He is giving me is silence. He isn’t doing it for the same reasons that I do it, but nonetheless I am sitting here waiting for Him to respond.
It is definitely helping me understand just how frustrating it is for my wife.
This is where I normally put a sentence about how even though this situation is stressful I trust God to take care of it. I’m not going to do that this time because I don’t know for sure that He is going to act. I don’t know what is going on.
All I know is that I am completely reliant on God right now because I have no idea what else to do. I am staring angrily into God’s inconceivable silence and just hoping that I can hear a whisper or find an open door.
There is no pleasant conclusion sentence for a blog post like this.